If you are in immediate danger, call 911. For confidential support in Ontario, the Assaulted Women's Helpline is 1-866-863-0511 (TTY 1-866-863-7868). This article is general information, not legal or safety advice — your safety comes first.
A clear, factual record of what happened can be powerful evidence in a family case — but documenting abuse carries real risks if the other person discovers it. Safety has to come first; a record is only worth keeping if keeping it is safe. This is a careful guide to doing both. Please consider working with a support worker or lawyer on a plan that fits your situation.
Safety before evidence
Before you record anything, think about where and how it's stored. If there's any chance the other person can access your device, accounts, or home, a discovered journal can escalate danger. A local shelter or the helpline above can help with safety planning, including safe ways to keep information.
Keep your record private and secure
- Use a device and accounts the other person cannot access, with a strong, private password
- Be mindful of shared devices, shared accounts, and synced backups
- Consider keeping copies somewhere safe and separate (with a trusted person, if appropriate)
- Avoid leaving a paper journal where it could be found
What to record
- What happened, with the date, time, and place — in plain, factual terms
- Anyone who saw or heard it, and anything said
- Effects and any injuries, and whether you sought help
- References to police reports, medical records, or other documents
Facts, dates, and patterns
Record facts rather than conclusions, and keep entries dated and close to the event. Because abuse — and coercive control in particular — is shown through a pattern over time, a steady, factual record is what makes the pattern visible. The same principles that make any record credible apply here.
Keep originals and connect the dots
Hold on to original evidence where it's safe to do so — messages, photos, documents — and note how each connects to an incident. If you've reported to police or sought medical care, keep references to those records; they can corroborate your account.
Get support and advice
You don't have to navigate this alone. Support workers, shelters, and lawyers can help you document safely and understand your options, including protective orders. Many free and low-cost supports exist in Ontario.
How SteadCase helps
SteadCase is a private place to keep a dated, factual record — a Case Log for incidents and a Daily Journal for the day-to-day, each protected behind your own login and linkable to your evidence. As with any tool, use it on a device and account that are safe for you.
Your safety matters more than any record. This is general information, not legal or safety advice — please reach out to a support service or lawyer for help with your specific situation.